Billy Joel’s Documentary Didn’t Just Tell a Story—It Takes Me Back to Mine

the music in Grammy’s Toyota lives on

Turn on HBO Max and watch Billy Joel: And So It Goes as soon as possible. I love a good documentary, but this one? The film’s soundtrack isn’t just a backdrop, it’s this emotional backbone, and I felt some feelings. Plus, Bruce Springsteen makes a few cameos (fellow Jersey girls please stand up).

When River of Dreams comes through the speakers, I’m back on the bus ride home in 1994. Our bus driver would let the entire cassette play in a loop. Sometimes I’d hear All About Soul twice before my stop. There’s this out-of-body moment, when he belts out “The woman’s got soul” that I felt in every fiber of my being since I was 13. Even with 8th graders throwing backpacks and arguing behind me, I was locked in.

Only a year earlier, a very important person in my life was headed to a Billy Joel concert. Grammy was nothing if not thorough. Impeccable with her word and impeccably dressed. Every piece of jewelry organized and labeled in her dressing room. When Grammy made plans, she showed up early and prepared. The Billy Joel concert would be no different.

A few weeks before the show, I strapped into her Toyota and found out she’d made a Billy Joel mixtape. That day I learned the words to ”The Longest Time” and “Big Shot.” I forgot to ask which song was her favorite, but I bet the doo-wop harmonies on An Innocent Man reminded her of the music she grew up with. As a kid, I just knew his music made me feel good. Still does.

Cut to college and I was that “Catholic girl who starts much too late” every time Only the Good Die Young came on. The label, while true, still makes us laugh. Even as I came into my own, I embraced the lyric. Not because it still defined me, but because it was part of my story, and what started as a label became a rite of passage.

These days, I write in salon every Wednesday. Most of it never gets published, but it lives in the white space of everything I do share. Looking at Billy Joel’s vast catalog, and knowing he made four albums before the critically acclaimed The Stranger, reminds me that we’re meant to create more than we consume. A wild thought as we stare into the abyss of the infinite scroll. Being prolific is part of the process. Finding and cultivating your voice isn’t something that appears at your doorstep.

After I watched the film, I checked the archives and Billy Joel played Madison Square Garden six times in ‘93. I’m sure Grammy was at one of those shows. In November 2018, exactly 25 years later, I saw Billy at the Garden. It felt like a full circle moment. I wish she had been with me. In many ways, she always is.

Billy Joel: And So It Goes is a rush of core memories and the encore I needed. After the movie, I recommend turning off all the lights, getting under a weighted blanket, and blasting River of Dreams. Extra credit for playing the air piano.