The Sleep Brief: What Was Keeping Me Up & How I Finally Started Sleeping Better
When I tracked how I was feeling during the day, I figured out what was keeping me up at night
They knew I was joking, right?
Sarcasm doesn’t always translate over text. Ugh. Into bed. Did I lock the door? Better check. Yes, locked. Back under the covers. God bless my weighted blanket. Eyes closed. Did I send that email? I’ll look. Please let this meeting go well! Phone’s open, might as well scroll Insta. Oh, Gisele’s new book. Putting the phone down. How tall is Gisele? Quick search. 5’11! Time to sleep. What if this meeting tanks? Toss, turn. How is it 3am?!
End scene.
Meanwhile, "good sleeper" propaganda is splashed across our screens, like Kate Winslet’s character in The Holiday. A soft light streams through the windows. Her eyes blink open. She stretches and smiles with the smugness of a person who slept well last night.
For years, I could only dream of falling asleep before midnight.
In this fantasy, I wake up refreshed and easily maneuver through the morning. I’m unbothered by red lights or a long wait at the elevator. I’ve got time on my side. I glide into meetings with the grace of a Bridgerton at a garden party. High on the public service of being all “after you” and “oh, please, go ahead.” I start remembering what it feels like to be creative. I see solutions everywhere.
How do I access this dreamscape? As I lamented over my laptop, I wondered… What if I approached this like a client project?
Now I have my attention.
First, I would need to identify the obstacles preventing me from sleeping and establish a new (and improved!) sleep routine. Insomnia had become a real problem, hindering my progress in healing from Long COVID, so it was time to "go to the mattresses" (literally).
What I’m about to share comes from years of trial and error, medical evaluations, blood work, cortisol saliva tests, and gut health assessments. After years of navigating Long Covid, I had a litany of test results to work with.
I tried dozens of products, supplements, and a couple of prescriptions before I found the right combination for sleep, gut health, and hormone balance (gut and hormone health impact sleep). This is based on my personal experience and is not intended as medical advice.
Settle in, dear reader, as I show you my notes.
Understanding Magnesium Deficiency and Choosing The Right Supplements
Minerals: Alkamind acid-reducing minerals to prevent night-time reflux.
Magnesium: Flewd vitamin salt baths and Seven Minerals Magnesium Lotion for transdermal magnesium and balancing hormones.
Tests revealed that, like many people, I was magnesium deficient. After experimenting, I discovered that transdermal magnesium (i.e., baths and lotions) works best for me. I found these products to be the most effective.
Managing Acid Reflux at Night
Acid reflux at night is the worst. You can’t lie down. It’s a whole thing. Alkamind’s Get Off Your Acid contains Vitamin C, Calcium, Magnesium, Sodium, and Potassium, which work together to soothe my system and eliminate acid reflux. I mix the powder with water and drink it before bed (I like the Lemon or Strawberry flavor). Plus, if I’ve had wine with dinner, it helps balance acidity and replenish minerals. I bring extra on trips with friends because someone always needs it.
Magnesium Bath
I take a Flewd bath at least once a week to absorb magnesium and hormone-balancing vitamins. My favorite is Flewd’s “Smash The Sads” pack (I love these so much that I’ve gifted them to friends).
To complete the fantasy of being in my own Nancy Meyers film, I press play on the Something’s Gotta Give soundtrack and sink into the warm water. If you’ve done acupuncture, you’ll appreciate this—there’s that moment when you can feel your body get back into balance—like the excess cortisol has drained and now you’re more even. That’s how Flewd makes me feel.
Magnesium Lotion
My nutritionist recommended applying magnesium lotion to the soles of my feet for best absorption. If I’m traveling or don’t get to take a bath, I use Seven Minerals Magnesium Cocoa Butter Cream before bed (after you apply it, put socks on to help it soak in and avoid getting lotion everywhere). My friend also found it to be a game-changer for restless leg syndrome.
A Note on Melatonin: Melatonin pills are a popular sleep aid, but my nutritionist advised me not to take it too often. She explained that melatonin is a hormone that can affect women’s hormones.
Balancing Cortisol & Caffeine
Matcha for Cortisol Balance: The L-theanine in matcha is known to help reduce the effects of stress.
Caffeine Cut-off Times: Is your dinner or dessert preventing you from falling asleep? Keep a food log and set cut-off times that work for you (i.e., avoid coffee after lunch and limit/avoid dark chocolate before bed).
Walking and Hormones: A 20-30 minute walk can support stress relief and hormone balance for better sleep.
If I only had a magnesium deficiency, this would have been the end of the story, but Long COVID impacted several systems of my body that affect sleep. I would need to get to the root of anything chronic, so my doctor sent me a hormone test to check my cortisol levels.
The results came back gnarly.
My cortisol spiked when it should be coming down for sleep—they call this feeling “wired and tired.” I tried various treatments, including prescription HRT and ashwagandha supplements. However, these didn’t help me sleep—ashwagandha even acted as a stimulant (a reminder that everyone has unique chemistry). After a year of trial and error with little progress, I decided to reset.
Matcha for Cortisol Balance
A turning point came when a nutritionist suggested replacing one of my supplements with matcha. It was the right fit. The L-theanine in matcha makes me feel relaxed but focused. It’s a calm energy source that supports sleep. Along with the hormone-balancing Flewd baths I mentioned earlier (which also contain serotonin-boosting vitamins), I started healing underlying conditions.
Caffeine Cut-off Times
Tracking my daily habits and keeping a food log made it clear that caffeine consumption was a big factor. I found that avoiding dark chocolate too close to bedtime also helped. Later, a blood test revealed I have the “caffeine sensitivity” gene, meaning it can take up to 10-12 hours for my body to metabolize a single cup of coffee. Adjusting my caffeine timing made a big difference in my ability to fall asleep before midnight.
Walking for Hormone Balance
In addition to limiting caffeine, walking became part of my hormone-balancing plan. A 20-30 minute walk seems to be the sweet spot. My hormone specialist advised against over-exercising and recommended I stay under 8,000 steps a day.
The Gut Health of Good Sleep
Gut-Brain Connection: Negative thought loops may be linked to gut health. Probiotics like Dr. Ruscio’s Triple Probiotic can help reduce brain over-activation and improve sleep.
Gut Testing: Gut-health tests like the G.I. Map can help you better understand your microbiome and its impact on sleep.
Intrusive thoughts. Let’s talk about it.
My sleep routine was going in the right direction, but periodically, late-night anxiety would take over. Some nights, I would lie down, and my mind would start racing. Since I had completed the G.I. Map (a humbling but helpful gut-health test you can do at home), I was aware of the gut-brain connection and turned to my favorite gut-health doctor for answers.
On his podcast, Dr. Ruscio explains “gut-induced neuroinflammation” and why centers of the brain are over-active:
“There seems to be a theme with depression where centers in the brain are over-active. This correlates with part of the depressive experience, which is ruminate behavior, you keep thinking about negative things in a loop in your mind. This is one of the ways probiotics have a positive effect. They correct the over-activation of the brain. Research shows that probiotics can reduce this over-activation.”
Ah-ha!
Amid COVID chaos, I had stopped taking probiotics. Years prior, I would do cycles of probiotics, so I knew what I needed. Within days of taking strong probiotics again, the mental noise started to fade. Dr. Ruscio’s Triple Probiotic is one of the most effective I’ve found. It’s all three strains together, so I don’t have to buy multiple bottles of different probiotics. I only wish I had found it sooner. It's worth every penny.
To Feel Better at Night, I Had to Feel Better During the Day
Core Practice: To rest better at night, prioritize what energizes you and supports your emotional health, like writing or engaging in creative activities.
For years, I tried to supplement my way around insomnia. I tried every sleep-vitamin-drink-gummie I could find but was missing a key point. I needed to do more of what energizes me—during the day.
Supplements help me sleep, but no amount of magnesium can replace a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and doing things that make me happy. I think of this as my Core Practice. What is so core to who you are that you need it in your life? Art? Travel? Entrepreneurship?
I need to write on a regular beat. David Mamet said, “I always thought that being a writer is a lot like being a beaver. Their teeth itch, and that’s why they cut down trees.”
What gives you energy? What makes you feel the most connected to yourself? Once I figured this out, I set a recurring appointment with myself.
Downshifting, Huffing Lavender in Bed, and Pink Sand
Downshifting: Those moments before bedtime and how you decompress from the day. How do you downshift to prepare for sleep?
Bedtime Rituals: Lavender essential oil, visualization exercises, a white noise machine, and a weighted blanket are helpful tools.
Best-Case Scenario Visualization: Shift focus from anxiety to imagining a positive scenario to interrupt negative spirals.
After I dialed in my supplement stack and started writing again, I needed to downshift at the end of the day. Sometimes, I stack 5 minutes of breathwork with 10 minutes of reading (fiction!), which eases me into resting mode. On other days, I might need more time to downshift or release excess cortisol, so I stand on the waver for 15 minutes, likely while watching Friends or Seinfeld, and then get into bed. Downshifting is unique to you and something to experiment with.
After I turn on the sound machine, I shake a few drops of lavender essential oil into my hand, rub my palms together like a masseuse, cup my hands over my face, and take several deep breaths.
Next, I slip under my weighted blanket and do nadi shodhana pranayama, breathwork on alternate sides of the nose. Here’s my quick how-to video.
Now, for the pièce de résistance!
When I’m ready to close my eyes, I visualize a place I love—one of my favorite beaches—the pink sand beach in Bermuda at The Hamilton Princess Hotel & Beach Club. I’m back in my beach chair, warm sand beneath my toes, sun on my legs, and feeling the type of peace that puts your whole body at ease. Usually, this visual seals the deal, and I drift to sleep.
If it’s been a rough day and I feel myself starting to stress, I use a technique that helps me shift focus. Instead of dwelling on the worst, I ask myself, "What's the best-case scenario I could imagine? If I had a magic wand, what’s my ideal scenario?" My brain offers a positive visual, which interrupts the anxiety. It’s like a palate cleanser for my mind, and I can usually “go back to the beach” and fall asleep.
The turning point was realizing that worry was ruining my sleep. If I let my thoughts spiral, I’d fall down a rabbit hole of worry. Now I try pause and picture the pink sand when an anxious thought pops up. Anxiety is predictable, and loves to play the hits. I laugh when I catch myself re-patterning. I remind myself, “Let’s go back to your beach chair. You deserve peace, rest, and good sleep.”
What image makes you feel happy and peaceful? Can you go there in your mind? Can you close your eyes and see it and feel it?
What I Would Do If I Were Starting Over Today
Let’s land this plane. I’ve got a matcha latte to make :)
Here’s what I would do:
Magnesium + Menu: Cut off caffeine by lunchtime, limit dark chocolate after dinner, apply magnesium lotion for good sleep, and take acid-reducing minerals to prevent reflux.
Salt baths + walks: Take regular salt baths and walk most days to balance the hormones that impact sleep.
Probiotics: If intrusive thoughts are preventing sleep, I would take a powerful probiotic.
Emotional health: Do more of what energizes me during the day so I can rest at night.
Visualize: Picture (your) “pink sand” while under a weighted blanket.
That’s a wrap! Sweet dreams and RIP my insomnia Google searches for important things like “how long do walnuts stay fresh,” and “Instapot polenta.”
See you at brunch,
Nicole
If this was helpful and you’re interested in the products I’ve shared, I’ve included some affiliate links above. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing. So much great info and I totally want to try the magnesium soaks now 🫶
The power of magnesium is not to be ignored.